Welcome to the Culture & Clobber Axis, where GOAL runs the rule over the latest goings-on at the intersection of football and culture - from the sublime to the ridiculous, the beautiful to the hideous, what's very hot and what's definitely not.
There's been a frenzy of kit releases, boot drops and new merch as Christmas approaches, while old feuds have been reignited and one man singlehandedly caused a marketing crisis for his boot supplier.
But where do the biggest talking points from the football zeitgeist place in our comprehensive axis? Let's take a look...
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